Stag Do

When it came to my Stag Do, I said to Andrew (Best Man - Singapore Leg) that I didn't want any fuss and a quiet drink with the lads would suffice.

There was no need for any foreign trips or elaborate plans - especially as the majority of the lads (including Andrew and I) were all off to Hua Hin in Thailand for a long golfing weekend at the end of October.

Anyway, Andrew was good to his word (ish!). After a hearty lunch/brekky at Boat Quay, he picked Pete and I up around 3:40 pm for a quiet beer at the Beer Cellar.

With the father-in-law-to be there, I felt relaxed knowing that they could not too much to me.

Wrong!

As you will see soon enough, they had me in a very unflattering dress, red wig and false boobs by 5pm. And, I can honestly say, that I looked like the worst cross-dresser in history. Think Pete Burns, with:
* a 2-week old goatee
* a week's worth of stubble
* an ill-fitting wig
* hairy legs
* and the sort of dress worn by one of Les Dawson (RIP) 's characters!

[I will post a suitable picture up soon - but it should only be viewed after the watershed.]

Anyway, the rest of the night was a bit of blur - actually I am unable to divulge what happened, where we went, who was up on stage dancing with go-go/lap dancers. But I can say that Pete (and I) did very well to last until 4 in the morning!

Though according to the Beer Cellar's in-public-house- poet laureate, Andrew, the evening went something like this:
Damian said:
"For my stag do I would like a quiet beer,
I do not want to feel fear.”

Of course, he is the boss and his will must be done,
But his friends, they wanted more fun.

“We should send him abroad” they all said,
I thought, “if Sarah finds out, I am dead”.

To his friends a compromise I needed to impress,
And we settled on a bright orange wig and a dress.

To the BeerCellar we all made our way,
And for the kitty 50 dollars we would pay.

Damian started at pace, got off his face,
And, Jesus, in that dress, he looked gay.

As darkness descended on the equator,
The Best Man (Singapore leg) turned traitor.

Damo said: “you promised me a sober affair”
“and these promises turned out to be poor”

I said, “what d’ya mean, why’d you say that?”
He said “I just lap-danced for my father-in-law!”